As Bree Van De Kamp says, "I work too, I'm a Home Maker." (pix of Rosie The Riveter copied from

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Finally, A Normal Faced Mommy!

After exactly one month, my face has finally become normal again, no more Two Faced Mommy, Alhamdulillah... :)

But it took a lot of persistence and positive thinking. For the past month, my routine was practically reflexology, massage, acupuncture and fire cupping. I also read up about auricular therapy and did that myself at home, and I also readministered discipline in my eating habit. That too was also based on heavy research on our local traditional herbs and spices and home remedies to treat ear ailments and facial palsies.

The doctors said 1-3 months, so I'm feeling so blessed that I'm practically back to 100% after just 1 month.

I still feel some facial muscle pull when I speak, especially when I start to scream at my goons for their perpetual mess! And my ears still get a bit buzzy when I'm in a crowded place, like the restaurant, supermarket or the mall. But I guess, I should be happy that things didn't turn out for the worst.

My greatest fear throughout all this was that at the back of everything, there was always that slight possibility of the "Big C" making a play. Of course I never mentioned this in any of my earlier posts coz I didn't want to cause any unnecessary scare. That was why I forced myself to rest completely and take a break from my normal Jules operations, mainly from baking coz it involves really heavy work, especially when I'm making fondants. Mind you, I've never used an electric mixer, and all my fondants I make from scratch with marshmallow. But I love it, of course. And I've seriously missed my own brownies.

Nevertheless, I'm glad I took this break. One, coz it was good for my health, and also coz it gave me more peaceful time with my goons. Of course, peaceful in this context is very subjective, but what I mean is that, there was no need for me to rush with their homework or activities coz I was also not rushing to complete my baking and deliveries.

Marrakesh for one, is in dire need of my full attention these days, as I find that he is somehow having more difficutly finishing his homework, spelling, writing and reading. I'm not really certain why this sudden change, as he was quite the opposite last year when he was in K1. I guess it might be coz he's all alone now in kindy, without his Abang Ngah, Damascus, who's already in standard 1. And he's also trying to deal with the fact that he too will have to start standard 1 next year, which means no more Madam and all the friendly teachers and aunties to baby him anymore. But my consolation is that these days he insists on going to school early and does not whine about not wanting to go to school anymore; but the deal was that he need not go for daycare anymore either. It's a fair deal I guess, so I'm now doing my part, that is sending him early to school and fetching him right after school, and spending more quality time with him doing homework, spelling, writing and reading. Every question he asks me about stuff he learnt in school I try my best to explain fully and clearly. And after he's done with all the compulsory work and moves on to his art and crafts, I too can also carry on with my crafts :)

His older brothers, Esfahan and Damascus, are quite independent now, but they still need monster mommy when it comes to homework and tidying their room.
And thankfully, they understand that I need to spend more time with Marrakesh now, and they do their bit to help their darling Kekesh :)

So, moral of the story, my recent ailment has actually allowed me to have more meaningful moments with my preciousnesses, if there's such a word. I guess not coz there's a red dotted line beneath it, but I'll just use it anyway, my preciousnesses... :)

And as I turn 42 today, I am grateful for not only the strength that God has bestowed within me, but also for the strength, and love, that I have all around. Frankly speaking, being a mommy is ONE HELLUVA job! Only the sanely insane are ever willing to do it unconditionally. And being a sick mommy is even more difficult, more so heartbreaking, coz while your spirit wants to continue caring for your loved ones as you normally do, your flesh somehow is not able to, and this is truly disheartening, it makes you feel like you're doing such an injustice to your kids especially, coz kids really don't know better about this kind of things. They really actually depend on you completely to care for them, and when you can't, sigh... So, that's when you need the support of your family and friends the most. And having that support means all the world to me.

But, I think that the irony of it all is that, while there you are thinking that you're not doing right by your kids coz you're in bed ill and resting, your children are actually well off managing on their own, finding their own food from the fridge, having their own breakfast cereal, making their own hot chocolate, preparing their own toast with peanut butter, happily dipping their own oreos in milk, all because you have actually taught and loved them well... :)

All the joys of a mommy most often also equates to her heartaches, which eventually creates more joy. Yup, it's just something one cannot really explain, until one has become a mommy herself.

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Driving Our Babies

I'd just finished chatting with Madam Rusha, Marrakesh's principal at Krista Taman Putra Sulaiman, about his progress academically and personally. As I walked to the car, a blue Honda Jazz passed by me and I could see clearly that this man was driving while cradling his sleeping baby in his arm....AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

Had I been a law enforcement officer, I would have pulled him over and advised him to use a infant/child seat/carrier!

Good morning uols! Hope you're all fine and well...

I'm recovering well, Alhamdulillah, still taking things easy. I can't very well explain how my body is progressing, but I know how it is progressing and I know it's not yet back to how it was before the otitis media fiasco. But as all women and wives and mothers out there know, no woman can be or appear to be, unwell for too long, coz you just can't. Somehow we're not allowed to be un-okay, we just need to be okay, for the survival and wellbeing of all others... :)

Anyway, about the man cradling his sleeping baby while driving, why do people do this? His car portrayed him as a progressive man living in a progressing economy, but his action proves that he is way back in the dark ages! I mean, I believe that people having babies these days are quite fortunate coz they have a wide reach to facilities and necessities. In the matter of the infant/child car seat or carrier, there's a huge variety in the market now which can cater to a wide range of budgets, and most of them meet the required safety standards. If you can drive a Honda Jazz, you could pretty much afford a proper seat/carrier for your baby.

You think you're a very skilled driver and you drive very safely all the time and that nothing bad will ever happen to you and your family while you're on the road? Well, what about those irresponsible morons who do not stop at red lights, do not give indicators and who are not as safe a driver as you? Or that drunken lorry driver who risk running into you because he wasn't even aware of where he was or what he was doing? Or that random cat that suddenly runs in front of your car? Or that little child who appears out of nowhere?

Or you just cannot stand to hear your child crying and screaming for not wanting to be strapped to the seat/carrier? You go crazy hearing all that noise so you'd rather let them have their way regardless of the risks involved? While you are safely (technically) buckled up in your seat belt? Or you think you love your child more than other parents who put their children in child seats/carriers do? That cradling your infant child in your arms while you drive is the ultimate display of parental love?

There are 3 seat belts at the back seat of our Kancil and Merce, but only 2 in the Kembara. So, travelling with all 3 boys mean driving either of the former 2, in which case monster mommy will make sure they're all buckled up at the back. Yes, you may sometimes see goons jumping around at the back, but soon after monster mommy will appear victor and all 3 will eventually be strapped up in the seats, carrying on happily with their own stuff. When they were babies, all of them were transported in infant/child carrier/seats. There weren't many locally made ones then, most were imported and very expensive, but we had to. For Esfahan, we had actually recycled Medina's 8 year old baby car seat, no problem. Then we bought a new carrier coz Medina's could only be strapped to the car seat and couldn't be used as a carrier to carry him around conveniently. Then when Damascus and Marrakesh came, we had to buy an additional one coz they both needed infant/child seats at the same time. And while Esfahan could safely be strapped to the normal seat belt as early as 3yrs, Damascus needed to be strapped in his child seat until much later, coz of his natural characteristics which required him to be strapped in a child seat to ensure his own safety. Marrakesh was more like his Abang Long, so no problem there.

My husband and I, we are not the perfect parents, but we do our very best, as challenging and frustrating as it may be, we try, we just do.

So, I don't know. Why do you cradle your baby in your arms while you drive? Why?