Two Faced Mommy Part 2

So I'm back from the Operating Theatre!

It was a rather jiffy procedure that myringotomy, or was it just Dr Lim who did it in a whizz? Hehe, or both, but either way, like I said, it is a routine procedure. I was wheeled down to the 1st floor at 4.30pm, then sent to OT 7 at 4.45pm, a few minutes later I remember Dr Mohandas, the anaesthetist, said "Sweet dreams Juliana", and then the next thing I knew I was awake in another room, with nurses and a few other operatees. I looked at the clock it was 5.30pm. Then a nurse walked beside me and pondered upon my puzzled face as I asked, "Dah sudah ke?" She giggled and replied, "Iya, dah sudah." I was wheeled back to my room, and the whole of last night was just rest.

Alhamdulillah, I'm sitting now in my room after a nice shower and waiting for breakfast to arrive, functioning just nicely. Well, my face is still senget, and my ear still abuzz, but I have been told pre-op that it will take some time for me to get back to my normal self, quicker than relying solely on antibiotics, but in time nonetheless. And Charles, the audiologist, had told me earlier that I had actually lost 50% of the hearing in my left ear, and that it would take about a month or so for the ear to adjust back to normal after the procedure (subject to terms and conditions...hehe...ie. overall health condition, diet, daily routine etc.).

There was a bit of pain for a while after the procedure, but nothing that required painkillers, as I also wanted to manage the pain naturally, else I wouldn't know when it actually ends.

I do pray that I will be able to get back to my normal routines soon though, so that I can get back to managing my home, my family, my business as usual, insyaAllah. Frankly speaking, I'm not too worried about how my face looks, senget or not; like Annette Bening's character Sylvie Fowler said to the salesgirl at SFA in The Women, "This is my face, deal with it."

As it is now, my left eye can't blink properly, so it tends to get very teary and I have trouble driving, looking into the car mirrors, and estimating depth and distance. Dr Lim says I should not drive yet, but if I need to I could just drive a short distance, eg sending the kids to school, getting groceries. He said that as a doctor there are many things he would advise me against doing, but as a person he has to be practical and help to guide me in how I should do things in my current condition. I really appreciate doctors who are practical like that, especially those who go around in jeans, casual shirt and casual shoes :)

Anyway, Dr Lim just popped in to check on me, he told me he made 2 holes in my eardrum and sucked out all the pus that was behind there (yeah, gross isn't it?), that the incisions should heal pretty fast and that at this point I have recovered about 25% of my hearing; he's also very glad that I didn't vomit after the GA yesterday. I can also now continue with my meds orally instead of via IV, and he'll check in on me again this afternoon before he sends me home.

Yayyyy! I'm going home! Alhamdulillah :)

I'm sharing all this with you in the hope that the information will benefit you. This otitis media normally occurs in children, rarely in old makciks like me, but they still do happen. Facial paralysis however could most likely happen to people my age, not just in the form that I'm experiencing now, but others, like how Bell's Palsy happened to my mum some years ago. I hope you will read ya...

Like I always tell my kids when they casually come to me asking, "Mommy what's this?" : "Iqra'!" "Read!" Hehe, mean mommy huh? They know they're allowed to use the computer anytime for school work, research, or piano (definitely not for games), no question about it, and they always give me that urgh look everytime I make them get things the hard way. Of course if they need further explanation then only they can come to mommy. Well, nothing good in life comes easy, right?

So, I'm trying to finish as much of my oatmeal and half boiled eggs now, to restore my energy, and also before they give me the meds which will make me feel gooey...

Thank you for all the prayers and very kind, warm wishes that have been coming in from family, friends and patrons, they really do mean so much to me, may God bless all of you and your loved ones. My life is indeed beautiful and truly blessed, Alhamdulillah... xox :)

Two Faced Mommy

Hi there! It's been quite a while since I last dropped in here. If it were up to me, there'd be a post each and everyday, but since it's not always up to me, ie. kids rule the home too, I'll try to make the occasional post as meaningful and informative as possible.

I wrote in my JulesRules blog about how my 2012 started. So now I'm going to share with you the latest update thus far.

I'm here in my room at Gleneagles KL waiting for my ENT specialist, Dr.Lim (Lim Wye Keat), to pop in and check on me. We will then decide whether he should poke a hole in my right eardrum to release the fluid that's been accumulating behind it, which in turn has been pinching on and infecting my facial nerves, causing my face to suffer partial paralysis (only the right side of my face). He says my paralysis is mild, no cause for alarm. I googled facial paralysis, AAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!! I got pretty alarmed! So, I stopped googling and decided to just leave it to Dr Lim to get updates on my condition. At least he smiles and makes comforting jokes when he tells me that it may take up to 3+ months for my face to get back to its normal self. Heeeeeee.......

Two Faced Mommy
...taken this morning while having cappuccino at Starbucks, and I may be sporting this look well into Spring/Summer 2012 :)

Okay, I just finished talking to Dr. Lim, and my condition is Otitis Media, which is quite common. And yes, I decided that I will undergo the procedure, Myringotomy, which is to drain the fluid that's been bugging my ear and my life. Dr Lim says that it's a very routine procedure and some are even done as a daycare service. Phewh, okay, that sounds okay, but my main concern now is the general anaesthesia (GA) that I'll have to go under. Not that I have any issues with GA, I've had it a few times for several gastrointestinal procedures, but GA is still a GA and the risks are immense. But after almost 2 weeks of buzzing, ringing and disorientation, not to mention excruciating pain, it is something that I just have to do as opposed to carrying on with merely antibiotics, coz I seriously do want to get on with my normal life again. So I pray that it will be a safe and successful procedure, insyaAllah, and I place my utmost faith in the Almighty.

I have just been labeled "NBM" or "Nil By Mouth" by Nurse Kam, and the myringotomy is scheduled for this afternoon, some time after 3pm, which gives me the required minimum 6 hours of fasting.

I'm glad that Dr Lim gave me home leave last night and that I was home with my kids to tuck them in bed, to wake them up this morning to get them ready for school and that I had my precious hugs and kisses which are definitely at the top of my "Reason For Living" list. Alhamdulillah... :)

Till we meet again, insyaAllah, stay fabulous! A piu tardi...xox :)

Esfahan's Money Craft

One of the greatest joys of Staying Home is, I have ample time for art&crafts with my kids! Yes, I do complain that they mess up the whole house doing crafts, but at the end of the day, when I see their final work, I can only beam with pride and sheer pleasure :)

Kids today are far from how I was at their age. They have vast opportunities to learn, Disney, Nick, Ceria, TV IQ, Tutor TV, Discovery, NatGeo, YouTube, Google, it's like a whole new universe out there! So when they come to me asking to use the computer, and asking for paper, carton box, glue, cellotape, etc., I just sigh and say, "Okay, tell me exactly what you're browsing...paper bottom drawer, others top drawer." And as futile as it may be, I always scream, "Make sure you tidy up your place after you finish!" Oh well, one can only try. But when they ask if they can use actual money to do craft, I'm like, "Heh?"

The latest craft by Esfahan, a racing car and chopper bike, using actual notes : "Mommy, I can only make them using real notes, normal paper won't work!"...something about the size and thickness and whatever...


Cool eh? :)


Another craft he's developing is Voice Over, which really does require lots of time from mommy, playing chauffer and manager! The most exciting one thus far, apart from his Malay dubbing for Francis of "Hana's Helpline" on Astro Ceria, is "Pada Zaman Dahulu", where he lends his voice to the character of Aris. This 3D animation series is targeted to debut on TV Al Hijrah, on Astro channel 114, on 3 December 2011.

Family love...

Ahh, this month has been very testing. Marrakesh got sick, then Damascus, then Esfahan, all with tonsilitis, one after another. Then Damascus developed rashes all over his body, and the poor boy was going around scratching, scratching, scratching! The doctor suspected that it was an allergic reaction to the antibiotic that was prescribed to him, Cephalexin. So Augmentin was prescribed to him instead, and his tonsilitis disappeared but it took several more days for the itchiness and scratching to subside. All in all, I was nursing 3 sick children for 2 whole weeks! And since they were sick, they couldn't go to school, and when they didn't go to school, they were hanging out at home, which means that mommy really had her hands full... Sigh... But, this is what I chose to do, and as testing as it may be, it always keeps me close to my kids, and I also learnt something new about antibiotics :)

There were also birthdays : Ayah's mom a.k.a. Tok Baie, mommy's dad, a.k.a. Tok Abah and Esfahan, a.k.a. Abang Long :) Somewhere between aching throats, fevers and itchiness, we managed to have fun and celebrate all these birthdays. But Esfahan has an additional celebration, which he is looking forward to this coming Saturday, a day out with a few of his close friends from school, at the movies and arcade! Phewh, it's good coz it'll all be at the mall, so mommy need not bother with cooking, dirty dishes and kiddy games, but mommy and ayah will be chaperoning them, along with our 2 younger goons. I'm anticipating that handling the 2 younger ones will be more challenging than minding Esfahan and his friends.

Amidst all this, we also received sad news of friends succumbing to cancer and of friends' children falling ill. News like these are never easy. Though it's nothing new to me, it's just as dampening as experiencing it for the first time; it affects me quite deeply actually, every time, but I do my best not to show it of course, I just let it gradually pass and move on, because more importantly, I have to be strong for the ones experiencing the actual loss... And when a child falls ill, it really just is very sad and frustrating. Then I start fearing for the well being of my own family, if anything happened to me who would take care of my children, if they fell seriously ill what am I to do? And then I start looking into our health and education plans again, and start planning for this and that and this and that...

But I've always managed to keep my faith, insyaAllah. And I fall back on the love of my family, something I know I can always depend on. Then my heart and my mind become happy and clear again. And then I'm back to simply driving the kids to school, picking them up from school, chasing them with their homework, screaming at them to clean up their mess and carrying on with my own Jules stuff...

Moral of the story? Hmmm... Family love is super fab. And being a mom is one helluva job! Hehe... :)


3 November, dinner at Hadramawt Jalan Ampang, then cheesecake!


12 November, I was SO busy with my Jules stuff that I only managed to wish my father Happy Birthday later that evening! Terrible daughter huh? Anyway, we tapau-ed him his favourite kuey teow goreng from Sharin Low restaurant, then it was black forest cake!

Teaching our children about sex

Everyday there are reports of newborns found dead in the ditch, babies thrown out from windows, and those rescued from the gutter.

I suppose we really cannot say whose fault it is, because deep down I think we are just more afraid that it might happen to us, and we pray hard that it doesn't. Yes? No? Well, I always pray that this doesn't happen to me, my family, my friends and those close to me.

But the truth to the matter is that things will remain as they are for as long we too remain unchanged. Do we talk to our children about sex? The truth, not the fairytale. Do we tell them about condoms and other contraceptives?

There is sex everywhere around us in our present time. On TV, on YouTube, on the phone, in songs, in magazines and books, everywhere, and all are very easily accessible. Youngsters even have the audacity to make out right there in broad daylight right smack in front of everyone on the LRT!

My husband mocks me every time I tell him that he must start preparing himself to tell our boys about the birds and the bees, and impress upon them the beauty of the condom. Well, the truth is, I think it will be me who will give this talk to my boys eventually. Or, I will give them books and make sure they read them! But I know I can and will be open with them about this.

No doubt we do our best to educate our kids towards the right path, to do the right things, and to steer far from all wrongs. But at the end of the day, our children are humans too. They will have curiosities, they will want to experiment and they will do things we tell them not to do. I believe my boys will grow up to be good, insyaAllah, but I also do not discount the fact that there is a big enough chance they will end up doing the wrongs which they know perfectly well are wrong, simply because they just want to know how it feels and see what happens after that, not because they are bad children.

Some people say we must help these young girls who sadly get pregnant out of wedlock, help them to see things through and then help to show them the way to a better future, because this is better than to see babies being thrown into garbage bins everyday. Yes, this is good, if we do it pure heartedly and sincerely. How many of us can truly, truly be sincere about this?

And these days, people are promoting the HPV vaccine to female teenagers, in the effort to prevent cervical cancer. But are they educating these girls about HPV? About how the virus is transmitted?

Last night I watched Law & Order SVU, about teenage girls prostituting themselves in return for branded clothes and the glamorous life, and many end up contracting HIV, HPV and all sorts of STDs. Scary, very scary...

So, I do advocate sex education for children, when the time is right, of course; parents/grown ups must know when the time is right. I mean, sex is something good, right? For one thing it gave us our children...

Bringing Up Children : Public or Private School?

I was reading the newspaper today, something I have not done for so long. When I say read I mean really reading, cover to cover, not just flipping through to pick out the highlights or to spot the best discounts on milk and cheese. Well, it WAS the most logical thing to do while waiting for the car to be serviced.

And I came to a column by Daphne Iking. I didn't even know Daphne Iking had a column. Anyway, Daphne was talking about the task of choosing the right school for our children. She presented some good points but I can't help feel that she should have spoken to more people from the public school.

I personally believe that be it public or private school, parents must first determine what they want for their children. The moment I decided to settle down I had already known what I want for my children, if I were to be blessed with them. Health and education. The 2 things my husband and I now hold priority in our family.

I grew up in an average lower middle income family. My parents were both public school teachers and I saw how much effort they put in to make everything work for my siblings and I. It had always been health and education for us and their system worked. So, I followed the same model, with some improvs to keep it relevant with present time, of course.

At the very beginning, healthwise, I wanted firstly a good ob-gyn (must be female because that's what I'm comfortable with) and a good paediatrician. I sought advice from more experienced friends and they recommended Dr Jean Woo and Dato' Dr Vernon VV Lee, and that determined the hospital, Gleneagles Intan Medical Center. And they are also only a 10 minute drive from home.

Then came preschool. I remember my Bunga Raya Kindergarten in Klang, Mrs Ismail and Mrs Johari especially. I enjoyed my time there so I wanted something like that for my children too. I found it in Krista Kindergarten, and the closest to us is Krista Taman Nirwana. One of their focul points is the spirit of benevolence. This closed the deal.

When it was time for primary school, of course the closest to us is Sekolah Kebangsaan Desa Pandan, SKDP. Some friends said the school may not be challenging enough and that I should try to place them in the "more elite" schools, where the more elite people go. This is with the assumption that the more elite enjoy better privileges.

Well, by this time I had already 3 kids and was a fulltime SAHM trying to swing her business in between, so convenience became a determining factor, and SKDP was indeed most convenient. Coincidentally at this time SKDP had been "adopted" by the Information Ministry, and as such received enough attention from the "right" people. Private school could not be an option.

So, it has been SKDP these past 4 years for Esfahan and Alhamdulillah he is thriving well, as a student and as a strong individual. Damascus has also been accepted to SKDP next year and is looking forward to his orientation in December.

All this sounds plain and simple, but in actual fact it required a LOT of effort from Mommy and Ayah. Well, the truth is, I'd very much like to claim much of the credit, coz it was Mommy who did all the necessary groundwork, feasibility studies and conclusions. Ayah had an easier time making up his mind, coz Mommy had already decided! :)

Health and Education. This includes good medical and education plans, good food, good mental+physical+social development, good enrichment programs, etc., etc. We gave them Tumble Tots, KidSports, theme parks, good eat outs, outstation/overseas holidays, Quran reading+fardhu ain classes, piano lessons, art+craft classes, horse riding lessons, chess camps, swimming lessons, philharmonic concerts, movies, parties, Borders, MPH, The Big Bad Wolf and all that jazz!

I make sure that my kids interact with as many different people as possible and in as many different surroundings as possible. They have friends from school, friends from piano class, friends from KidSports, friends/kins from Mommy's/Ayah's sides, friends from the horse circle, etc. And they have different teachers who teach them different things in different arenas.

I want them to learn to acknowledge and respect the different peoples of the world be it in their small or big pictures. I want them to be independent and develop their own sense of individuality, while embracing good values. Most importantly I want them to know the right and the wrong.

Not easy.

And my children are all boys. In Islam and in many cultures, the male gender would carry bigger roles and responsibilities in their adulthood. To impress upon them the seriousness of their role as future leaders who must eventually contribute progressively to their families/communities requires not only skill and wisdom, but also a lot of heart.

So bottomline is, in my opinion, all schools are good, public or private. It all depends on what parents want for their children. Coz when it comes to building and growing children, the bulk of it is still really on the parents (or/and guardians).

Quality Time...

...is what every family must have with and for each other. My family is not perfect and I must admit that it takes a lot of effort not to let ourselves fall too deep into the abyss of the tech world. No doubt we need to be tech progressive, but the basic natural life and quality time is always most meaningful and enriching.

I realise that my posts lately dwell on time with our loved ones, our children especially. Well, as I see the many things happening around me daily, the ones that affect me most are issues relating children, and the saddest is when children get "lost" with very low chances of finding their way back.

So, anyway, I've always told myself that 40 will be my turning point towards a new life. A life where I can start focusing on myself and develop JulesMD. But 40 came and my boys' lives also started flourishing. I once thought that we could flourish together parallelly, but it has been quite obvious to me thus far that for my boys to flourish optimally, my own agenda has to decelerate somewhat. No, I'm not complaining, it's just been a rather surprising awakening. Sometimes I envy women with jolting careers who are now being driven in their BMWs and have their Furlas personally delivered to them, looking sharp in their tailored Armani or Raoul, while I most times leave the house looking like the hired help! Sometimes, especially at red lights, I think people turn to me and say, "Waa, these days maids also can drive aaa?" :)

Then I think of the times when I am able to nurse my parents or loved ones at the hospital, drive and accompany my folks for their routine checkups, hold and comfort my kids any moment they're unwell or insecure, I think that, okay, there's a good reason why I am a SAHM. When an emergency arises and I am able to rush to the sight conveniently and prove myself worthy of being, then I am again assured of my significance in this world. And I thrive on the fact that I can always be there for my boys to remind them that there's more to this world than school, piano, mengaji, kidsports, MPH, TGV and Nick Jr., there is life itself.

And how precious life is. We mustn't take anything forgranted. We must optimise every little bit of time we have with our loved ones. Make it quality time. It's effort worth making...

At El Campo Equestrian...
...thanks Che Ad for this lovely shot :)

At the recent Il Volo Showcase...letting the talent flow... Piero~Esfahan, Gianluca~Damascus, Ignazio~Marrakesh... :)
...credit pix to Universal Music