Quality Time...

...is what every family must have with and for each other. My family is not perfect and I must admit that it takes a lot of effort not to let ourselves fall too deep into the abyss of the tech world. No doubt we need to be tech progressive, but the basic natural life and quality time is always most meaningful and enriching.

I realise that my posts lately dwell on time with our loved ones, our children especially. Well, as I see the many things happening around me daily, the ones that affect me most are issues relating children, and the saddest is when children get "lost" with very low chances of finding their way back.

So, anyway, I've always told myself that 40 will be my turning point towards a new life. A life where I can start focusing on myself and develop JulesMD. But 40 came and my boys' lives also started flourishing. I once thought that we could flourish together parallelly, but it has been quite obvious to me thus far that for my boys to flourish optimally, my own agenda has to decelerate somewhat. No, I'm not complaining, it's just been a rather surprising awakening. Sometimes I envy women with jolting careers who are now being driven in their BMWs and have their Furlas personally delivered to them, looking sharp in their tailored Armani or Raoul, while I most times leave the house looking like the hired help! Sometimes, especially at red lights, I think people turn to me and say, "Waa, these days maids also can drive aaa?" :)

Then I think of the times when I am able to nurse my parents or loved ones at the hospital, drive and accompany my folks for their routine checkups, hold and comfort my kids any moment they're unwell or insecure, I think that, okay, there's a good reason why I am a SAHM. When an emergency arises and I am able to rush to the sight conveniently and prove myself worthy of being, then I am again assured of my significance in this world. And I thrive on the fact that I can always be there for my boys to remind them that there's more to this world than school, piano, mengaji, kidsports, MPH, TGV and Nick Jr., there is life itself.

And how precious life is. We mustn't take anything forgranted. We must optimise every little bit of time we have with our loved ones. Make it quality time. It's effort worth making...

At El Campo Equestrian...
...thanks Che Ad for this lovely shot :)

At the recent Il Volo Showcase...letting the talent flow... Piero~Esfahan, Gianluca~Damascus, Ignazio~Marrakesh... :)
...credit pix to Universal Music

Time With The Children...

...is among the most precious and meaningful moments of my life.

Sometimes I tend to be selfish and become too engrossed with my own things that I get annoyed when my boys come to me and ask me to do this and that with them. Then when my maternal senses hit back at me, I realise that nothing beats the joy of sincerely and whole heartedly hanging out with them.

The past school holidays allowed some free time for mommy while the boys chilled with their grandfolks in Klang. But much of it was at home with school projects, chess camp and a getaway to The Lost World Of Tambun.

3 boys, 3 different individuals, 3 different characteristics, 3 different needs, 3 different approaches. It seriously does get very demanding, but well, I'd already decided to deal with that when I decided to have them. Right? :) And it becomes more challenging as they grow, as their stripes become more distinct and bold.

Esfahan has terabytes of stuff in his CPU which he needs to continually download, and it really does take a lot of energy to continually listen to him pour out his knowledge and findings of the day. But Esfahan needs a lot of pushing, for him to actually remain focused and keep to his program, else he will digress and branch out into so many other things, most times straying out of context. Once he gets something done, he'll just be okay about it, and will proceed to other things that interest him at that time; he'll just be on his way, oblivious to the rest of the world.

Damascus is very demanding. He knows exactly what he wants and will go to great lengths to get it. Most of the time he'd want to have it done his way, but he's open to suggestions, as long as he gets it. That was how he got his asymmetrical origami cranes to evolve into perfectly structured crafts overnight; piece after piece of origami paper until the wee hours of the night. He won't stop until he gets it, and he would insist that we stand there by him to help him get it right. And when he does achieve his goal, he would give us the biggest and warmest hug and the sloppiest kiss any child could give.

Marrakesh is still the baby. Going on 5, but still the little bear in the family. And his 2 older brothers baby him too. Marrakesh would imitate everything that Damascus does, and tries to measure up, but he will never ask for help from Damascus, he will always go to his Abang Long for that. But Marrakesh is fierce, very fierce, cross him and he'll morph into a tiger, even bigger than the great Siberian! And he'll take his own time to cool down, after which he'll give you the sweetest smile :)

But all in all, they're growing up very fast and they really need more space to expand. I try to bring them out as much as I can, and take them to my parent's place in Klang whenever we have the time. In Klang, they not only have ample space to move, but they are also therapy for my folks, who thrive on their 6 grandchildren.

At the end of the day, I always remind myself that however demanding, stressful or frustrating it may seem, I must always try to give my children my best attention. They don't ask for much, just my time, and lots and lots of milk!


Having a go at TokAbah's RC planes and helis...


Chillin' at Tanjung Harapan...


A night out at I-City...


Esfahan's 1st chess camp...


Getaway to The Lost World Of Tambun


Esfahan's "Gua Batu Kapur", for his Kajian Tempatan assignment...

Pay Attention To Our Children...

These past few days have been rather difficult. I found out that the eldest son of one of my dearest friends got into some trouble and had been held in police custody for 2 weeks today.

I saw him grow from a toddler and now he's in his early 20s. Somewhere along the way, something must have gone wrong and now he's going through what I believe must be the worst time of his life.

I won't go through the nitty gritty, but at this point we still don't know whether he'll be released or what his chances may be. It is sad, very, very sad, and I'm controlling my tears now as I write.

But I still write because I feel that this is something I should share.

Children do not come in a "one size fits all" thingy. Children are not guaranteed to do good things because they've been taught good things. Children need not do things intelligently because they are intelligent. Children need not do as we say because we tell them to do so. Children are children, and while they are our greatest joys, they can also be our greatest heartaches. But I guess, as parents, we must always try to pay the fullest attention to our children. No matter how tired we may be, no matter how *toot* our day had been, no matter how, no matter what, we must always be there for our children, always.

Our lives go on, I still do all the things I have to do, but it's been difficult. I can only imagine what my darling friend is going through. My heart and my prayers are with her...

Mars Needs Moms

Damascus cried watching the movie, he said, "Acus tak naklah tengok cerita ni mommy, Acus rasa sedih,", curling up in my lap and hugging me. It was actually very moving, not the typically fun and loony kids' animation movie, all moms and children should watch it :) I cried because Damascus cried...

Anyway, my latest game plan is working well so far. All 3 boys are washing their own cups and plates as best as they can, and they now place greater value on their belongings, ie. cups, plate/bowl and cutlery. They're still messy of course, toys everywhere and dirty clothes outside the laundry basket, but they diligently bring their cups and plates to the kitchen after being excused from the dining table, and they will certainly wash their dishes; when their plates and cutlery get too greasy, mommy or ayah will help them surely :)

My Latest Game Plan

Every morning I wake up to a sink full of empty glasses and milk cartons, that everything overflows to the counter top. This is really not good for anyone's mental. It's worse during school days because I have to rush preparing school uniforms, lunch boxes, and whatever last piece of homework that needs to be done or packed into school bags.

I seldom clear the dishes and prep my kids' stuff at night because I do my Jules work at night, after we have all kow tim homework and dinner, and I have mellowed down with coffee alongside CSIs or Castle. And most times while I'm working, my kids will get their own milk and water themselves. By the time I'm too tired to continue with work, I'm also too tired to deal with the other stuff. But if I'm baking, then it's a different matter coz I'll surely clear the sink and kitchen before I start.

So anyway, yesterday, after spending the whole day cleaning house, I decided on a new game plan. That each boy will have only 2 glasses to use day in and day out (they need 2 instead of only 1 because sometimes they both have juice/milk and water during 1 meal). Once they are done with the glass they must wash it or they won't have any glass to use, because mommy has kept all the other glasses, dishes and cutlery in a secret hiding place. The same goes with their bowls and plate and cutlery. And if they use our grown ups' stuff they will be punished, whereby their favourite toy or current favourite belonging will be taken away from them.

Yes, this may sound like something Cruella De Vil would conjure, but the thing is, when my boys are at my parents', they do actually wash their own dishes! Because everytime before I leave them there I'll tell them that they must help TokMama because TokMama tak larat. So, in Klang, they wash their dishes, they help put their laundry in the washer then into the dryer or the drying line, they make their beds and they clean their room! Something that they miraculously become unable to do at home! My mom has always been great with kids, but I figured that this isn't about my mom's Mary Poppins factor, but perhaps more about mommy having to juice out the Cruella De Vil in her, muahahahaha...

Many other supermoms out there may have already been doing this and excelled, but I suppose I've been too soft. But no more...muahahahaha!!!

So, we're entering the 2nd day of this new regime, and things are looking promising. They can already manage to shower and clean themselves, so now they must get into the habit of keeping the other stuff clean, neat and orderly. They still have much to go in making their beds and putting their dirty clothes into (not around) the laundry basket, but at least these haven't yet disrupted my state of mind. Darling husband and I had thrown out (3rd round) some more of their unkept toys last few days after ayah's final outburst, so where their toys are concerned they know very well what they need to do.

Today I'll work on their wardrobe. Bob The Builder? Ben10? Superman? Ultraman? Heh, sorry kiddos, all will be gone if you don't start getting your acts right. I hope they realise that we seriously mean business, muahahahaha... :)

Happy International Women's Day 2011

Here's wishing all FAB WOMEN out there a Happy International Women's Day! May we all continue to enrich and empower ourselves as we grow strongly alongside global progress, may we continue to contribute positively towards our family and friends as well as the needs of our community and society, and may we remain relevant among our piers and the ever exciting opposite sex! InsyaAllah... :)

"Mommy, cakap Kekesh mimpi yang indah-indah,"...

That's what Marrakesh insisted I tell him before he went to bed finally last night... :)

And so I did. I repeated the whole "Nite nite baby, sleep tight, sweet dreams, I love you..." and I added, "mimpi yang indah-indah...mimpi Handy Manny, Bob The Builder, Dibo, Elmo, semua datang and sing all their funs songs with you darling...no bad dreams, just sweet, sweet dreams." And he adds, "and mimpi bear bear...". Bear bear is his favourite soft toy, white teady bear with a graduation hat, which his older brothers always hide from him, until he cries and whines for it, and the abang-abang will laugh and tease before they give it back to him. Then he tucked himself into bed again and fell asleep.

It's been difficult to make him remain in his own bed till sunrise; somehow he would find his way to my room in the wee morning and tucks himself right smack between mommy and ayah, saying, "Kekesh pegi pee pee pas tu nak tido ngan mommy sebab katil Kekesh rasa tak sedap la...". He's been doing it for a while, until after we saw "Magika". Thank you "Magika"!

Now I tell him that if he sleeps with mommy and ayah, the "Orang Minyak" will find him because "Orang Minyak" looks for children who sleep with their parents. And if he (Marrakesh) cries, then "Nenek Kebayan" will find him and keep him because she'd want to collect his tears...

Some folks may find this a bit drastic and traumatic, but so far it's worked well with Marrakesh. All because the whole thing about "Magika" was actually very funny and cute, not scary and dark; all 3 boys took a liking to the movie. And of course when I tell all this to Marrakesh, I do it in a sing song way, like story telling, not in a threatening manner. And both mommy and ayah would tell him that if he sleeps well in his bed till morning, he'll grow up stronger and braver and will be the champion of many things... :)

So, on top of mommy's regular goodnight hugs, kisses and mantra, I add that special "mimpi yang indah-indah...." especially for my little buncit Kekesh :) Ayah would just say "Hey, bedtime boys, upstairs now, no more nonsense!" Hehe, the macho ayah. But then in his own manja way, he'd let the boys choose the book of the night and read to them, and say Bismillah before finally saying goodnight, sometimes he would let each boy choose his own book... :)

But only mommy can promise "mimpi yang indah-indah..." :)